Posted on December 16, 2020 in Divorce

For many families, the winter months are filled with weeks of celebrations, time spent with loved ones, and meals gathered around the family table. At the same time, the holiday season can be abundantly stressful, especially for children whose parents are going through or who have already gone through a divorce or a separation. During the first holiday season after the separation, parents often face difficulty when it comes to bringing the magic of the season alive in their homes, but there are some things you can do to help.

Managing the Holidays After Divorce

Here are a few things you can do to make the holidays easier for you and your children after your divorce:

• Expect emotional reactions from your children. The first holiday season after your separation will likely be one of the hardest you will experience. While you may understand that the sadness that you feel during this holiday season will not last, your children may not. They may become frustrated, or they may not understand why things this year are different from years before. When you notice your child’s mood beginning to take a turn, try encouraging your child to talk about what they are feeling.

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 Posted on December 14, 2020 in Alimony / Maintenance

If you are facing the possibility of a divorce, you and your spouse will need to resolve a number of issues. For many couples, property and money-related concerns are among the most challenging considerations. You have likely worked hard to earn what you have, so the possibility of “losing” your hard-earned assets during your divorce may not sit well with you. You may also be concerned about the possibility of paying maintenance—also known as spousal support or alimony—which can lead to disagreements as you are headed for a divorce.

Depending on where you are in the divorce process, you may have questions about spousal support and whether it will be a factor in your Illinois divorce. Some of the most frequently asked maintenance questions include:

Will Maintenance Be Awarded Automatically?

Under the law in Illinois, maintenance will only be granted following a divorce if the requesting spouse can prove that such support is needed to facilitate an equitable divorce. Maintenance is not automatic or guaranteed, and requesting it does not mean that it will necessarily be granted. If, however, you and your spouse already have a valid prenuptial agreement that says spousal support is to be paid, you can generally assume that the court will enforce the agreement.

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 Posted on December 09, 2020 in Child Custody

According to recent estimates, there are almost 4 million divorced parents in the U.S. today. For such parents, the winter holiday season can be particularly tough to manage, as extended family members often travel great distances to celebrate and to see the children. While far fewer families are likely to travel this year compared to previous years, the holidays are still likely to be challenging for parents who share parental responsibilities.

The first thing you should keep in mind is that, no matter what you do, you will not be able to please everyone. Someone along the way is likely to feel at least a little slighted or disappointed about how your arrangements play out. However, with a little planning and a commitment to being flexible, you can enjoy a happy holiday as a divorced parent.

Take Proactive Steps

Planning ahead is key in making holiday parenting time arrangements. If you and your former partner have a parenting plan in place that specifies where your child will spend which holidays, it is important to be aware of what your plan says for this year. If you are not sure, review your plan and be certain. Your parenting agreement might give you the freedom to set up holiday plans each year by discussing them with your child’s other parent. Once you have established who will have parenting time and when, you can begin planning your holiday visits and other activities. This includes video visits and other arrangements made necessary by the COVID-19 health crisis.

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 Posted on December 09, 2020 in Child Custody

Some of the most contentious issues in a divorce are often the issues that revolve around the children, such as parenting time and decision-making responsibilities. Before a couple with children can divorce, they must come to a consensus on all of these issues and put their agreement in writing into what is called a parenting plan. If you and your spouse are able to come up with the agreement on your own, this can be extremely helpful in the long run. Keeping the negotiations between you and your spouse, rather than taking the issue to court, also allows you to personalize your parenting plan and include provisions that are specific to your family’s situation.

Items to Address in Your Parenting Agreement

Though you should further discuss your parenting plan with an Illinois divorce lawyer, here are a few things you should consider adding to your Illinois parenting plan:

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 Posted on December 04, 2020 in Legal Separation

No matter how mutual the decision may be to end a marriage, choosing to divorce is never an easy undertaking. Even the smoothest divorces mean big changes for both parties, and depending on financial circumstances and whether or not children are involved, those changes can have a ripple effect that impacts everyone in the household for some time to come. Divorce is just as much emotionally taxing as it is financially, compounding the burden for the entire family.

Given the potentially overwhelming nature of ending a marriage, it is understandable why some couples want to avoid the divorce process altogether. In fact, this is often a driving force behind legal separations, although a separation is often only a temporary solution and may not be an effective one for every couple. If you and your spouse want to delay the divorce for more practical reasons rather than emotional reasons, however, you may find that legal separation serves as a productive, beneficial option for both of you.

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 Posted on December 02, 2020 in Domestic Violence

Did you know that, on average, 24 people per minute are victimized by physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States? This amounts to more than 12 million women and men each year. It is estimated that one in three women and one in four men in this country will be a victim of domestic violence at some point in their lives. In addition, 75 percent of domestic violence victims have children living in the home with them. Efforts have been made to provide better protections from domestic violence, but there is still work to be done.

Domestic Violence Can Leave Victims Paralyzed by Fear

Domestic violence involves complex psychological effects for the women and men who experience it. In many cases, victims do not want their abuser arrested and jailed, they only want the abuse to stop. Fearing that involving law enforcement will upset their lives too much, many victims suffer in silence for years, not sharing with anyone the abuse they have been forced to endure. Orders of protection can be issued to keep abusers away from victims, but victims need to be able to depend on police departments and the court system to uphold those orders.

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 Posted on December 01, 2020 in Cohabitation

Across the country, thousands of unmarried but committed couples have made the decision to move in together. This reality is undoubtedly a reflection of changing social mores, but some research suggests that couples who live together before marriage may have a greater chance of getting divorced than those who wait to live together until after their wedding.

Research on Cohabitation and Marital Satisfaction

One recent study surveyed over 1,000 married people between the ages of 18 and 34 to gain insight into the relationship between cohabitation and marital satisfaction. All participants had been married for ten years or less. Some of the survey questions included:

• What was the dedication that each spouse had to each other?

• How satisfied were they in the relationship?

• What was the level of sexual satisfaction in the marriage?

• What was the level of negative communication between the couple?

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 Posted on November 25, 2020 in Children and Divorce

After a divorce, Illinois law permits a parent to move with their children to a new location within 25 miles of their current home in the counties surrounding Chicago, or within 50 miles of their current home anywhere else in the state, in some cases even across state lines. Relocations of a greater distance are sometimes possible with the approval of the court. However, regardless of your intended destination, a move can create significant stress for your children.

Factors to Consider Before Making the Decision to Move

If you are preparing for a divorce and are considering the possibility of moving with your child after the split, it is wise to explore the potential advantages and disadvantages of making yet another big change in the midst of the end of your marriage. On one hand, the idea of starting over and tackling all of the transitions at once can be appealing, but moving directly after the divorce can also trigger some less appealing side effects, especially where the children are concerned.

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 Posted on November 25, 2020 in Divorce

Divorce is no doubt one of the most stressful things a person can experience in their lifetime. Even for adults, coping with the stress of a divorce can be difficult, but for a child, it can be nightmarish. Children are not nearly as developed as adults are in any sense, whether that be emotionally, physically, or mentally. As such, children tend to have a much more difficult time coping and dealing with the impact of the divorce than their parents, especially if the divorce is particularly contentious. For many parents, the well-being of their children is the most important thing and at the top of their list of concerns, and if they are struggling to cope with your divorce, it may be beneficial for them to talk to a family therapist.

Signs That Your Children Are Struggling to Cope

Here are a few signs that may indicate that your children need help:

• Frequent Outbursts or Displays of Aggression: Children are still learning important skills, like emotional control and regulation. Some children may express their strong emotions by lashing out in anger, throwing tantrums, being disobedient, or otherwise acting completely out of character.

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 Posted on November 18, 2020 in Alimony / Maintenance

In today’s world, many married couples rely on two incomes to live comfortably. Getting a divorce means you are no longer using two incomes to pay bills, as you will likely have to make ends meet with your paycheck alone. For some, this may not be a big deal, but for others, it can make supporting themselves very difficult. This is where spousal maintenance could be very helpful.

Also known as spousal support or alimony, spousal maintenance is either established by an agreement between the spouses or ordered by a judge based on the circumstances of the situation. Maintenance is typically used to allow both spouses to continue a reasonably similar quality of life compared to what they had when they were married.

Factors in Determining Alimony

Spousal maintenance is not guaranteed in all Illinois divorce cases. Absent an agreement between the parties, spousal maintenance will only be awarded when it is needed to make a divorce settlement more equitable. When making determinations about spousal maintenance, the judge will examine the marriage and divorce and will use a specific set of factors to make a decision.

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