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How to Help Your Children Understand and Cope with Your Divorce
While older children typically understand the concept of divorce, younger children often struggle to grasp how their parents’ divorce will affect their everyday lives. They may not even fully comprehend that divorce means one parent will be living at a different home. Unfortunately, this lack of understanding can make coping with the divorce that much more difficult for the child. If you are considering a divorce, it is important to understand how you can help your child as you and your family go through the divorce process.
Talk to Children’s Health Professionals
A mental health professional, such as a child or family therapist, can offer insight into how your child may cope with the divorce, as well as your child’s level of understanding about the process. They can advise you regarding how to best support your child and stay alert for signs that the child is struggling, and they can also meet with your child to help him or her process feelings about the divorce. Your child’s pediatrician can also help you understand how the divorce may affect the child’s physical health and offer guidance regarding how you can continue to provide for your child’s growth and development needs, including adequate sleep and nutrition.
Preventing Divorce Conflict From Affecting Your Children
During a divorce, each spouse is likely to experience a range of emotions, including grief, anger, regret, and feelings of betrayal. Sadly, the typical divorce process often exacerbates these negative emotions by seemingly placing the divorcing parties on opposite sides. Tempers can flare, and each spouse may focus on what they will walk away with once the divorce process is complete rather than working toward the best possible outcome for both parties.
When you add children into the mix, a contentious situation can become even more difficult, especially for the children who still love both of their parents. In fact, the damage can be so extensive that it carries on into the children’s adult lives. However, this does not have to be your children’s reality. You and your spouse can choose differently in your divorce and take an approach that focuses on your children’s interests.
Creating a Child-Centered Divorce
Beware of These Financial Concerns in Your Illinois Divorce
A divorce can be a stressful and contentious matter, and not just because of the impending end of the relationship. Financial matters are also particularly important in divorce, and they can have a lasting effect on each party’s quality of life. If you are planning on filing for divorce or have recently been served, beware of these money issues in your case and learn how an experienced divorce lawyer may be able to help protect your interests and financial future.
Housing and Living Expenses
When couples split, one typically leaves the family home. The other might stay, or the couple might agree to sell the home and have both parties vacate the premises. Regardless of the living arrangements that you agree to, you should prepare for a possible increase in living expenses. You should also consider how a decrease in income—a common by-product of divorce—will affect your financial situation. As an example, you might consider downsizing before the proceedings begin if maintaining the family home is not a viable option.
Understanding the Right of First Refusal in Illinois Parenting Plans
After the divorce process has been initiated, one of the most difficult things for parents to adjust to is the change in their parenting schedules. Instead of seeing and spending time with your child every day, you might only be spending a few days with your child each week. For many parents, this can feel as if they never get to spend enough time with their children. One option that can help a divorced parent spend more time with their children is including a clause known as the right of first refusal in the parenting agreement. An Illinois family law attorney can help you draft a parenting plan that includes this provision.
What is the Right of First Refusal in a Parenting Plan?
The right of first refusal means that when one parent is unable to take care of the child during their scheduled parenting time, they are to first check with the other parent to see if they would like to care for the child before making alternative child care arrangements. The idea behind this is to allow both parents to spend as much time with their children as possible rather than resorting to another option, and in some cases, it may even help parents save on child care costs.
How to Manage a Divorce When Your Spouse is Prone to Conflict
The divorce process is rarely, if ever, a pleasant experience, but not every divorce is an extraordinarily contentious fight. Even if your spouse has a tendency toward creating drama and conflict, there are a few things that you can do to prevent the situation from getting out of hand. Keeping your divorce as civil as possible is in your best interest, as well as that of your spouse, because with more conflict comes more time, energy, and money spent on resolving the issues at hand.
Think Before You Speak
When you are going through a divorce, you and your spouse will each go through a wide range of emotions, and you are likely to be at different points on the emotional spectrum at any given time. There is a good chance that your spouse will say or do at least a few things along the way that upset you, some of which may even be intentional. The same is probably true in reverse. Before reacting, however, it is a good idea to pause and take a mental step back.
Can Common-Law Marriage Affect an Illinois Divorce?
In the state of Illinois, the only way to get legally married is by obtaining a marriage license and having a legal ceremony before a duly appointed officiant. However, other states still allow for the practice of common-law marriage, and if a couple moves to Illinois after being married under common law in another state, Illinois will recognize that marriage as legal. Regardless of how a couple was legally married, the only way to end a marriage in Illinois is through the legal process of divorce, and this can raise some unique complications for couples with common-law marriages.
Illinois and Common-Law Marriage
Generally, a common-law marriage is a situation in which the couple holds themselves to be married in public, has lived together for a substantial amount of time, and has acted in ways typical of a legally married couple, such as owning property together, filing taxes jointly, or taking the partner’s last name. This list of states that still allow such marriages is small, but in those states, a couple that becomes married under common law has the same benefits and responsibilities as a couple who was formally married in a legal ceremony. These benefits and responsibilities can be upheld even when the couple moves to a state such as Illinois that does not allow common-law marriage.
Can I Stop My Ex-Spouse From Relocating With My Child in Illinois?
In many divorces, the most contentious issues tend to be those involving the children. Both parents are usually concerned with protecting their rights, and it is not uncommon for parents to disagree on issues such as the allocation of parenting time and decision-making responsibilities. Even after the dust has settled, these disagreements can be dragged up again and get even more heated when one of the parents requests a modification to the parenting plan because of their intention to relocate with the children. If you are opposed to your former spouse’s relocation, you may have options to prevent it from happening.
Prior Notice of Relocation Must Be Provided
If your ex-spouse wants to move from their current residence to a new residence and take your children with them, they are not always able to do so without your permission. In some cases, a parent’s move is considered a relocation, which requires certain prior documentation and notice to the other parent before the relocation can take place. A notice must be provided to you prior to the relocation if the other parent’s new residence will be:
How to Handle Co-Parenting Conflicts Related to COVID-19 Precautions
The COVID-19 health crisis has affected the lives of virtually all Americans, closing down businesses, schools, and even courthouses across the country. Health experts have long indicated that the shutdowns were and are necessary to slow the spread of the coronavirus, but the response has forced many Illinois parents to amend their existing parenting plan and left significant questions about handling shared parental responsibilities.
For example, if you are subject to a shared parenting time arrangement, you may be wondering how you are supposed to handle a situation in which the other parent is not taking social distancing, self-isolation, or mask-wearing directives as seriously as you are. Unfortunately, there are no hard and fast answers to be found during this unprecedented situation, but there are a few things that you should try to do if possible.
Follow Your Existing Order If You Can
What You Should Know About Changing Your Child’s Name After a Divorce
Following a divorce, if you had previously assumed the surname of your spouse, you have the option of returning to your birth or maiden name. This request can be included in a divorce petition, and it will typically be approved by the judge.
To change your name later on, or to change the last names of your children, a separate court order must be filed. Changing the names of your children you had with your ex-spouse is more complicated than changing your own, and having an attorney with experience in name change cases can help immensely.
Name Changes for Minor Children
According to the Illinois Code of Civil Procedure (735 ILCS 5), a request to change a minor’s name will be approved only if a judge finds that changing the child’s name is necessary to serve the child’s best interests. This means that the name change will not automatically be approved simply because you want your child to share your last name. The Illinois Parentage Act (750 ILCS 46) also contains a provision that allows a name change for a minor if both of the child’s parents agree to the change, but this statute is usually reserved for cases involving unmarried parents or if the child’s parentage is disputed.
How to Tell if Your Spouse is Hiding Assets During an Illinois Divorce
For every divorcing couple, there will always be at least one issue that is likely to be contentious and cause issues during negotiations. For some couples, issues involving the children, such as the allocation of parenting time and parental responsibilities, can cause tension and difficulty. For others, the asset division process can be this source of tension. The financial side of divorce is extremely important to pay attention to, as it can greatly affect your individual finances for years into the future. Some people may even go as far as to attempt to hide certain assets from their spouse in the hopes that the asset will not have to be split upon divorce. Purposefully concealing income and other assets from your spouse during a divorce is illegal and can prevent a fair distribution of marital assets.