Posted on July 17, 2020 in Child Custody

Almost all divorces are challenging, especially when children are involved, but some are more difficult than others. You may find yourself going through a high conflict divorce because of a partner’s cheating or infidelity or because you and your spouse simply struggle to communicate and cooperate. If the two of you have children together, it is important that you find a way to successfully co-parent regardless of how hard it is for you to get along.

Overcoming Your Differences to Co-Parent

It may not be easy, but keeping these suggestions in mind can help you reduce stress and conflict in your co-parenting process and be the best possible parent for your children.

• Prioritize your children. Remember that your divorce is affecting your children every bit as much as it is affecting you and your ex. Make sure you continue to be present for your children and devote the time to listen to them and care for their physical and emotional needs, rather than allowing conflict with your ex to take over your time and your mental capacity.

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 Posted on July 14, 2020 in Divorce

Social media has changed the way humans communicate and interact with one another. Although it has been around for decades, every day we learn more and more about the effect that social media can have on our lives, especially as it pertains to relationships. Many studies have pointed toward social media as a possible factor for unhappiness in marriages and other relationships and even a possible trigger for some divorces. What some people may not know is that just as social media may play a role in your marriage, it can also have an effect on your divorce. However, whether the digital platforms are helpful or destructive is up to you.

Social Media and Your Divorce

In many divorce cases, social media can impact the proceedings. The most common way social media is used in divorce cases is to provide evidence toward an assertion that you or your attorney may have regarding your spouse. A social media post, photo, video, or other content could be the proof that you need to show that your spouse is not being entirely truthful with the court.

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 Posted on July 12, 2020 in Divorce

Courthouses in Illinois are still hearing cases despite the public health crisis caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, the way that courts operate has changed for the safety of everyone involved. Mask and social-distancing requirements are in place, and there are limits on the number of people allowed to attend a hearing. Courts are also using video conferencing in order to conduct remote hearings. For instance, Kane County family courts have a mixed schedule of in-person and remote hearings. Even before attending a hearing, many divorce clients are meeting with their attorneys and holding negotiations through applications such as Zoom. After the pandemic restrictions are lifted, some divorce cases may still use video conferencing because people have become more comfortable with the technology.

How Do I Attend a Remote Hearing?

The preparation leading up to a remote divorce hearing is the same as with any other hearing. The way you attend and participate in the hearing is different, and there are some factors involved that you would not normally need to consider during a hearing:

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 Posted on July 09, 2020 in Property Division

The marital home is often one of the most prized possessions during a divorce. Being able to keep the home can be a huge win if both spouses want it. However, getting the home also has consequences that may make it less desirable to own. Some divorcees willingly give up their homes or agree to sell them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of getting the marital home in your divorce? Knowing this may determine your strategy for the division of property and other financial issues in your divorce.

The Advantages

Firstly, it is beneficial to have control over a marital property as valuable as a home. You may have already invested time and money into picking out your “dream home” and remodeling it the way you like. You do not know how much it would cost to purchase a similar home and whether you would like it as much as your current home. If your current home is not in your long-term plans, there is still the possibility that it could appreciate in value and earn you more in an eventual sale than you would receive in the divorce.

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 Posted on July 06, 2020 in Children and Divorce

When you break the news of your divorce to your children, you should be prepared for them to ask several questions. You need to be considerate of their feelings when answering these questions because a poorly worded answer could make them more upset. Keep in mind that:

• Your children are most concerned about how your divorce affects them.
• They need your reassurance without you making promises that you cannot keep.
• There are some details about your divorce that your children should not know.

You can reasonably expect that your children will ask you some variation of the following questions:

1. Why Are You Getting Divorced?: When answering this question, it is important to convey that your children did not cause the divorce and that you will both continue being their parents. Say that it was a difficult decision but what you feel you need to do. Your children do not need to hear about the reasons you are unhappy in your marriage or events that led to your divorce.

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 Posted on July 06, 2020 in Child Custody

When parents get divorced, they cannot just go their separate ways and say goodbye — they will forever be connected by their children and will have to continue communicating with one another until their children reach the age of 18. Co-parenting with one another in the same city can be difficult enough. When one parent moves away, it can pose an entirely new set of challenges related to parenting. Whether you need to create an original parenting plan to facilitate the distance between you and your co-parent or you need to update your existing parenting plan, here are some tips that can help:

• Coordinate with your co-parent as much as possible. It has been said before, but when it comes to long-distance co-parenting, communication really is key. Ideally, you should have your visitation schedule pre-planned and ready for reference. At a minimum, you should coordinate with your former spouse and determine which holidays and school vacations your child will be spending with each of you.

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 Posted on July 03, 2020 in Divorce

Amid everything you are trying to accomplish during your divorce, it is important to remain mindful of your health. It is not uncommon for people to suffer from chronic pain or sickness following a divorce. They are under a tremendous amount of stress, which is harmful to themselves and can lead to unhealthy habits. This can cause:

• Bouts of anxiety and depression
• Cardiovascular disease
• Drastic changes in your weight
• Substance abuse

Everyone reacts to divorce differently, including the way it affects their health. However, anyone can help themselves during their divorce with these wellness tips:

1. Make an Effort to Stay Active: Physical wellness and mental wellness have proven to be connected to each other. Physical activity can relieve stress and give you something positive to focus on. Many people choose a fitness routine for their physical activity, but even spending time on a hobby can be a welcome break from the thoughts that have caused you stress.

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 Posted on June 30, 2020 in Alimony / Maintenance

What happens to spousal maintenance after you retire? If you are the person paying maintenance, it would be wrong for you to assume that your maintenance payments will end when you retire. You can terminate maintenance payments only when:

• You reach the agreed termination date
• A significant decrease in your income or increase in the recipient’s income makes it appropriate to end payments
• The recipient remarries
• The recipient fails to make an effort to become self-supporting

Retirement may give you grounds to decrease your maintenance payments, but terminating payments is unlikely. There are several factors that determine whether and how much you can modify spousal maintenance when you retire.

How Long Is the Spousal Maintenance Supposed to Last?

The duration of your spousal maintenance payments can be a set number of years or indefinite, pending future review or requests for modification. Two circumstances are needed for a court to grant indefinite maintenance:

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 Posted on June 30, 2020 in Divorce

"I want a divorce." Those four words, small as they are, have the power to break a person’s heart or set him or her free—depending on who is saying them. When you have finally made the decision that you no longer want to be married to your spouse, it can feel like a sigh of relief. Telling your spouse about your decision, however, will likely be one of the most important, yet difficult conversations of both of your lives. The approach that you take when having this conversation could set the tone for the entire divorce and even though nobody wants to have this conversation, it is one that needs to take place. If you are thinking of separating from or divorcing your spouse, here are some things you should keep in mind:

• Make sure you mean what you say. You should not tell your spouse that you want a divorce unless you are certain that is actually what you want. If you are unsure of whether or not you are ready for a divorce, but you know that you are unhappy, you should talk to your spouse about why you are unhappy and how it can be fixed. Once you are fairly certain you would like to proceed with a separation or divorce, then it would be appropriate to bring it up.

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 Posted on June 26, 2020 in Paternity

Illinois does not have an automatic presumption of paternity when a child is born out of wedlock. Normally, the husband of the mother is presumed to be the father unless it is proven than someone else is the father. An unmarried father can still claim his legal parental status by signing a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form after the child’s birth. When there is a disagreement about who the father is, the mother or potential father may need to go to court to prove paternity. A paternity test is usually the definitive way to determine whether a child is related to the father. Why is it important to identify the father of a child? There are good reasons for each party involved.

The Father

A father may want to be part of his child’s life, even if he is not in a relationship with the mother. The best way he can ensure that it will happen is by establishing paternity. As the legal father to the child, he would have a right to parenting time, as long as the child would not be in danger with him. The father could also claim responsibility for the child on a full-time basis if the mother dies, is deemed unfit, or wants to give the child up for adoption.

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